Serena Simmons Consultant Psychologist

Change. Motivate. Adapt. Improve. Perform


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I want IT…whatever IT IS?…….

What is it that you want?

Is it a different career?  Is it a better relationship?  Is it nicer clothes or maybe you want more money and lots of it!

Maybe what you want is much simpler than that?

Do you want space, peace, clarity? To be able to finish a cup of tea or have a pee in peace before someone is banging on the door asking for something?

Maybe you want more time to do the things you enjoy, like gardening, painting, yoga, walking, pottery…maybe you want a holiday?

Maybe you don’t know what you want and there in lies the problem.

Do you want a GOOD LIFE?

Have you ever seen the programme The Good Life?

I happen to love it just a little bit. I watched it as a child and thoroughly enjoyed the fun that Barbara and Tom used to have in the garden with a menagerie of animals not to mention their hilarious relationship with Margot and Jerry.  My love for the programme was only enhanced when I lived in new Zealand as an adult as the true ‘Englishness’ of it all made me feel a little closer to home.

But this isn’t just about my love of this quirky British sitcom and the characters in it (or anything to do with the fact that I own the box-set!).  This is about the premise behind why the characters chose to live the ‘good life’ in the first place and how the reason itself is so closely related to real life, in fact our own lives and how we live on a daily basis.

What are your goals and where do you want to be?

Let me explain, the first episode begins with Tom Good celebrating his 40th birthday.

Tom heads to work that morning and notices his feeling of boredom and apathy about what he is doing.  No one in the office recognises him for his work, he doesn’t feel acknowledged he doesn’t feel inspired by his work and he feels that what he doing is actually a joke.

He also notices that no one recognises his passion for fun or really, even knows his name! You also witness him realising that he wasn’t invited to play cricket with the office as he is considered, wait for it…..too old!

Tom seems to realise quite quickly that he is downright miserable, and so that evening after his birthday dinner with Barbara he starts a conversation about this very issue and how he is missing ‘IT’ in his life.  If he could find ‘IT’, he says he might be able to solve the problem.  After all he says that he doesn’t want to ‘feel the same way when he is 41’.

He decides, after an entire night up writing lists and drawing up plans that IT for him is…

“…breaking the circle.  Going to work, to get money to translate into things, which you use up, which makes you go to work again!”.

And that is how their Good Life begins…

What is it for you?

Not everyone can just sit down with a piece of paper, stay up all night and solve their life problems, therefore figuring out what ‘IT’ is.  But what this programme is a great illustration of (even though it is only made up!), is that if you dig deep and ask yourself some big questions, starting with noticing what you want/desire, then we owe it to our future self to get started on the path that we feel will take us there.

Maybe if you don’t know what ‘IT” is for you, you can try some things to help you rediscover what that might be?

What is it you need to do?

Do you need to take some time out of your daily grind so you actually have a moment to reflect?

Is it to take up an old hobby or activity that will allow you to ‘reconnect with yourself?

Do you need to protect time in your day every day just to sit and write down in a journal about the things you have enjoyed or appreciated that day?

Maybe you want to seek some external help to help you figure out your IT?

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There can be great power in figuring out what “IT’ is for you.

I encourage you to take some tome to reflect this week on what ‘IT’ is for you.  If you already know, then brilliant!  Are you therefore living your own Good Life? if so I’d love to hear about it and maybe you have some tips to share about the things that work for you in allowing you to stay focussed on your path.

For now I’ll just leave you with one last piece of advice from Tom Good…

“What we should be doing is working at the job of life itself”

Fancy that.

Till next week!


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Stop your brain being your worst enemy!…

Hello everyone!

How was your week and if you were in the UK, how was your Bank Holiday weekend?

If you glance over at my Twitter feed, you will see that I spent my Bank Holiday on a fabulous camping trip with friends in the Peak District this year…happy times!

So, to todays post which is a short and sweet one today, as I present to you an article that you can find in this months’ Cosmopolitan Magazine (UK), which is a feature all about my advice for getting into action and getting done the projects you are currently working on or would like to work on!

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I’d like to thank Cosmo, for taking the time to interview me for this piece.  It was great to be able to contribute to the mag and I’ve had a great response from readers and also from the staff about the advice given, so thank you Cosmo.

More exciting news to follow about my courses that are coming up over the summer as well as MPWC2015 which, has had to be slightly delayed due to getting the amazing logistics ready for such a glorified, relaxing day. Apologies to those that have registered interest.  You will be the first to know the date and details and will be the first to be given the Early Bird Discount.

You will be updated as soon as I can tell you more….in the meantime to continue to express your interest to attend and if you too would like to receive notification of the Early Bird Discount, then please email me at serena@serenasimmons.com putting MPWC2015 in the subject line.

Till next week!


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Are you ready for a BIG leap outside of your comfort zone?…

I’m SO excited to share today’s post with you!

I’ve been wanting to share this news with you for some time now, but have been waiting until a few more things were in place before I set-to, so here goes…

I would love to present to you a new Programme that I am launching this year called Ape-athy!

Final Ape-athy Logo

I’ve been working on this programme behind the scenes for over a year now.  It is a programme that means an awful lot to me especially as I really consider this a culmination of my life’s work to date.

For me this is the programme that I have looked to do myself that doesn’t exist.

This, and noticing that there was a stark gap in the market for a programme that would help me achieve the change/have the experience I was looking for, is what inspired me to create it.  So here it is in all its glory, but let me first explain what it will do for you…

Ape-athy ist is a completely immersive, experiential programme that is designed to help you achieve a radical change and shift in thinking as well as a new lease for life!

Ape-athy is the programme for you, if you are the kind of person who ever wonders why they are here?  What are you supposed to do with your life, how can you be your best self and peak-perform on a consistent basis.

It’s for people who want to achieve, have success, feel like they are moving forward and also at the same time find an inner peace and calm.  It’s also for people who want to have fun, feel exhilarated, feel connected and learn something new about themselves.

Ape-athy is delivered in way that allows you not just to hear good information, like many of the other types of personal development type programmes that exist…in Ape-athy you will be taken through a series of talks, exercises, group activities, individual activities and other more unusual tasks that will have you experience and kineasthetically acquire the insight via your own experience.

To complete the programme, you have to be over the age of 18.  You will also fill out several batches of psychometrics before completion of the programme so that we know as much about you as we can before you enter.

On day one of this 2 day programme, you begin by handing over your mobile devices, sign your disclaimer stating that you will not discuss the programme on completion and then for the next 2 days you will be taken on a journey that takes you right from the evolution of man, through to your future self.  More than that, when you leave you will know exactly what you need to do in order to get to where you want to be.

During this course of the programme you will be ‘helped’ out of your comfort zone, you will get to know others, you will clearly know what you want from life, you will know what you need to do next, you will know what you need to do to keep evolving so to avoid the stagnation or ‘apathy’ that can oh so easily creep into your life.

Please do take a look at the latest advert for the programme below which gives you a feel for the programme…

Ape-athy is not for the fainthearted, as there will be activities that participants will have to complete that can only be likened to being on a roller-coaster…in more ways than one!

What you can be guaranteed of however, is that you will be taken care of, you will be safe and you WILL leave after 2 days with a new boundless energy, knowledge of who you are, an understanding of what your gift really is and thus how you can apply the knowledge you have gained lead a successful and happy life.

Pheeew!  So there it is.

On this project I am collaborating with leaders from across the globe in many areas, from my own passion of Psychology, to Physiologists, Biologists, Sports and Exercise Scientists, Philosophers, Artists, Economists and I’m getting a little help from Magicians.  As I said, you will taken on an experiential journey so the ride will be informative, challenging, a little scary but also fun.

If you would like to know more please go to the Ape-athy website at www.ape-athy.com

Here you have the opportunity to ‘sign up’, which means that you will be the first to find out about new information, dates for the programme and also other news from the Ape-athy World including Early Bird Discounts.  More information will also be coming to the pages soon, and this will also include details regarding the Ape-athy charity which is part of the business.  In this capacity money from the programmes will go to chosen projects that support the conservation of our planet, including several key animal charities…more about this soon!

I’ll also be talking about this on NOTTS TV next Monday 18th on the 6.30 Show and will be particularly talking about the ‘Pitch to Rich’ that I have made for business mentoring and funding from Richard Branson which you can see here:

(click on the link below):

Apeathy

I felt that this was an amazing opportunity to get the word out about the Programme, learn more, meet new people as well as having access to some of the best business minds in the country.  I would also be so honoured if you would consider voting for me between 9am Monday 18th and Wednesday 20th at 5pm.  All it takes is the click of a button and then verification of your email.  By getting more votes I have a chance to go through to the next round which would be immensely exciting.

Thank you again. I’m so pleased to be offering this course to you and others who are just as passionate about change and our own evolution.

I also look forward to sharing more news on these pages about the programme in the coming months, as well as more about the other events that are taking place for Multi-passionates and my usual goings on.

In the meantime, thank you for reading all about this new exciting project.

Till next week!

DO YOU WANT TO ‘TEST’ APE-ATHY?

I am looking for people for the first ‘test’ audience for Ape-athy later this year.

if you would like to know more about this, then please be in contact with me by sending an email to serena@serenasimmons.com writing ‘Ape-athy TEST’ in the subject line.

I look forward to hearing from you brave souls!


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When you know you have to make changes….

I’m back!

I’ve just returned from my 3 week trip to New Zealand and Australia which was just fabulous.  I’ve come back and with a super short amount of time to recover, and am now already back on it with my work as a Lecturer at the University and also seeing clients in my private practice…phew!

It’s been really lovely to come back to see my clients in particular, who were given ridiculous amounts of homework while I was away, and to see the progress they’ve made in their lives and businesses over the last few weeks <happy sigh>.

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Change 

It is the nature of my work with my psychology coaching clients that I am unable to talk about who they are, what they do and how I’ve helped them….which, given the A-M-A-Z-I-N-G things they have done, is sometimes super sad to me.

Sometimes, if appropriate and with full consent and agreement, I can tell you about some of the people I interact with (some can be seen on my testimonial page); but the truth is, is that most people like to keep the work they do with me, private.

What I can tell you about all of my clients however, is that they all have one thing in common…

…they ALL want to CHANGE something.

The desire to change can be strong. When we realise that something has to shift, that something can’t go on as it is whether that be our work or business, our relationship, our body or just our way of thinking; that thing niggles at us until we do something about it.

When I used to work in more of a clinical based practice, many of the people I worked with would deal with this feeling in ‘maladaptive’ or destructive ways.

Relationships were damaged or sabotaged. Work would cause anxiety and stress to the point of intense and chronic sickness. Instead of exercising or eating well, people would abuse food and even substances as a way of ‘coping’ with the pressure and stress felt by a disequilibrium about their current situation.

Now, the clients I see are different. For a start I don’t see ‘clinical’ or unwell clients*. For the most part, the people I see are successful, professional people who just struggle to gain an objective perspective on what to about their current situation; or these successful people want someone who is expert in facilitating shift.  After all, every professional athlete has a coach, every student has a teacher…my work is no different.

The interesting thing is that when we know we have to change something, it can still evoke those feelings of stress, anxiety, depression and frustration no matter how ‘well’ or successful we are.  That is why it is imperative that we work on changing those things that don’t work for us.

Psychology Coaching 

I’ve found it to be a constant pleasure and privilege to be that objective perspective for people in this situation.

Psychology Coaching has allowed me to help so many people by taking a psychological, in-depth process of looking at who someone is ‘being’ and what has informed their current situation.  I then get to help people make that shift, make changes and ultimately alter the state of their future in both specific and sometimes non-specific areas in their lives.

We all tackle change in different ways.  If the way you are doing this yourself isn’t working, taking a moment to think about what you could do to help yourself is a sure fire way to stay on top of that feeling of overwhelm and ultimately avoid the negative feelings of stress and anxiety that can arise.

What can you do?

You can start by asking yourself the question, what is it I need to do?

Is it to start by finding a book that speaks to you?

Is it finding a blog or website that inspires you?

Is it by finding other people to talk to who have been in your situation?

Is it by finding a Psychologist to help you through the process, or is it to find a new training course or class?

Ultimately, we all know that change is in inevitable part of our growth….so don’t wait to try something that will help you on your path. Find it…do it…act it…believe it!

Till next week!


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Don’t let the critics pull you down……

So, today I had my blog post all planned for you. It was going to be a video and I was going to share some tips about ‘fitting it all in’. You see it’s the question I get asked the most…’Serena, how do you do it all?…where do you find the time?’. Well, the post I had intended for you will have to wait until next week I’m afraid as something came up this morning that has prompted me to raise THIS with you instead…..here goes….

Just to set the scene a little, I’ll tell you a little about my morning routine. As soon as my alarm goes off ( and maybe after a ‘snooze’ or two I’ll be honest), I head downstairs to feed my cats. This is usually between 6.30 and 7am. I then usually make myself a cup of coffee and either sit at my kitchen table, or if I have time or particularly on a weekend, I head back to bed to enjoy my coffee. While I have my coffee I then usually take that time to catch up on a few blogs that I follow. I follow some lovely blogs, which I will tell you more about another time as some of them are written by wonderfully multi-passionate people who are incredibly inspiring and I’d love for you to see them, but for today I’m going to tell you about one in particular called ‘enjoying the small things’ written by a lady called Kelle Hampton.

The blog is a simple blog about her life with her family. It shows her 3 children and her home. She shows some of the craft projects she gets up to. She talks about her journey navigating her way to understanding Down’s syndrome as her middle daughter has this. The main reason I follow her blog, is three-fold actually. One, she is clearly Multi-passionate and I love seeing others share their passions. Two, it’s a little slice of life that is lovely to see. And three, she does not ‘dress it up’ like some blogs do. In other words you see a real world view. Not a what I call a ‘spangly life’ (more on that another time).

This morning her blog post was a little different to normal. She had no photos like usual, mostly words. And what she wrote about was the negative comment she had received from a person who had read her blog. Quite frankly it was horrible. A person had gone out of their way to basically criticise and slate everything she had written. This person made personal attacks on her and her family and made comments (that we’re quite laughable really ) about the details of her blog post.

I’ll provide then link to the blog post below so you can read it for yourself, but here’s the thing….She gave, in my opinion a great response, but I wanted to tell you about this myself because it is part and parcel of my own mission. My mission is help others lead their own Multi-passionate lives in all their glory. I have said before, and this is a great example, of what happens when people are confronted by greatness. Not just greatness but another persons motivation….to achieve, succeed, make the most of things, have a real view, take pride in their life and appearance…..the list goes on!

The person who wrote these horrible comments seemingly went out of her way to write these nasty things. That takes time and motivation. I mean really! Who do you know, who is really motivated and successful that takes time out of their own life to criticise someone else’s? The driven person, the positively motivated and successful person will see something that inspires them and will then look to see what they can do to better their own life or business. They will make connections, build bridges, be complimentary and learn from others. Those that are motivated by greed, jealousy and spite will nurture that and grow the same qualities in their businesses and relationships. Usually, no surprise, no their detriment.

To truly have a great life. To have amazing relationships with people and to grow and build your passions and businesses into hubs and magnets of wealth ( both from a happiness as well as monetary point of view), you must first be motivated to to good in this world.

If you are multi-passionate…if you put yourself out there and be vulnerable,…if you share yourself generously with others and show how you can look for the best in everything as well as acknowledge the bad and move on, then you may find people on your own path who also will criticise you. Again, I remind myself in these times and advise you too, to hold your head high, walk your own path (with style), and forge the way ahead. Do not look behind at those that try to pull you down as your greatness is their issue not yours!

LINK to the blog here……

http://www.kellehampton.com/