Serena Simmons Consultant Psychologist

Change. Motivate. Adapt. Improve. Perform

How do you define yourself and is it hindering your success?

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This is a topic I feel extremely passionate about.  I’m passionate about it because I see so many people both as I mill about my daily life and also in my Psychology Practice, that struggle to truly know who they are without the ‘things’ or ‘props’ that they have accumulated over their life time.  Ultimately, so much of what people are defined by is stuff, including how we lookwho we know and what we own!


My question is, is this good?  Is it healthy?  Does it lead to happiness and self fulfilment?

I can tell you that, from the many people I have helped, that it usually doesn’t.

And (here comes the cheesy line), it doesn’t lead to happiness when people haven’t truly found a happiness or fulfilment that comes from within.  When they have not truly identified who they are, what they stand for and what they want to achieve, then there is a hunger.  A search to find this thing, that usually manifests itself by defining ourself from the outside in.

I ask you the question…how do you define yourself?

Is it your job?  Is it your looks?  Maybe it’s what you own…your house, your car? Is it your salary?

Maybe you define yourself by the people around you?  Your friends, your partner or even your children?

I meet people everyday that struggle to identify who or what they are without the things in their life that they keep around them to help define it. 

Today, I just want to raise this as a conversation.  Something for you to ponder, and in doing so I’d like to link here to a TEDx by Lizzie Velasquez.  Lizzie is a young woman who suffers from a rare condition that means that she doesn’t gain weight.

She looks different.  She has suffered and yet, she has not allowed what people have seen on the outside to define her.

Her message is a true lesson in how we have the power to define ourselves from the inside out.  This leads to empowerment and ultimately own own path to happiness, success and fulfilment.

This is just the start of this conversation for me.  I’m going to be following this blog post up in the next few months with some more information about this, and I’ll be sharing some things that you can do to gain insight on the things that you might be defining yourself by that are not helping you on your path to success.  I’ll also be sharing some advice and steps that you take to change them!

I hope you enjoy the video.  I’d love to know what you think.

Till next week!

Ps – you might be interested to know that Lizzie also has her own YouTube channel.  Link below:


One thought on “How do you define yourself and is it hindering your success?

  1. Pingback: Stop hiding from the world and show people what you are made of!… | Serena Simmons

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