Serena Simmons Consultant Psychologist

…helping you to lead your multi-passionate life…

Your new 2015 Career, WEEK 4: Have the conversation…

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Hello,

This week I’m following from last weeks’ ‘joining the dots’ blog in the Change your Career in 2015 blog series.

Last week you joined items on your lists of goals and aims versus what you get from doing your current job.  This week we need to ‘have the conversation’.

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When I’m coaching a person on this issue, this session can have quite an impact.  For some the conversation proves to be uplifting, freeing, a release of many emotions and feelings that may have been held on to for a long time.  Ultimately it’s a session of joy and relief.  For others however, this session can be difficult, challenging and frustrating so emotional in a more negatively perceived way.

Obviously there are other ways that people respond to this too; perplexed, amused, irked, enlightened, I merely point out the extremes here.  The point is, that whatever your reaction is, it’s perfect!  In a Psychology Coaching Session it can be quite powerful to unpick your reaction a little and see where it comes from (I encourage you to ponder this on your own), for now though, we are just going to have ‘the conversation’…

 #4

Have the Conversation…

…so what does this really mean?

This simply means having a conversation with yourself about where you are at when you look at what you are doing versus where you want to be and getting really, truly, undoubtedly, crisply, crystally (it’s a word today), real about your situation.

It’s a conversation not everyone likes to have, but the very fact that it’s often so emotional to some degree highlights the importance and significance of having it.

For the purposes of this activity, you will just be having a ‘conversation’ in your own head, or out loud with yourself, so to speak.

So, when you look at your lists and the links between them, what do you see? Ask yourself these questions:

If my goals don’t align with my job, why am I doing it…really? (i.e. what else is on your list of what you get from your job?)

If you have things in your job that don’t align with your goals, notice what it is about them that you like/need/want/desire (there are big differences between all of these feelings)

If my goals do align with my job, why do I want a career change?

If there are things that don’t join together, how do I really expect to achieve them? (Do you have another way you’ll think you will achieve them, again get ‘real’ here.  Do you for example hope you will win the lottery or are you going to wait for an inheritance?)

Do I feel able to take a pay cut?

How compromised do I feel in my current situation?

What is a realistic time frame to achieving my life goals at my current rate of activity?

These are just some of the questions you can ask yourself as you have this conversation with your conscience.

Write down all your answers to these questions and also note any feelings or actions you feel you want to take as a result.  Take particular notice of things in your job list that feel important to you, but do not align with your goals.  Some people find that they are addicted to particular things about their job which don’t actually serve them (blog to follow including the ‘money-trap’).

The fact is that we work for a long time during the years we are here on this fine earth.  It is not a myth that only a lucky few are able to work doing something that they are truly passionate about.  Something that brings them joy and even helps them to fulfil on their other wishes and desires.  The path to this kind of living is not always easy, another myth.  It requires work, dedication, perseverance and belief in the fact that it can happen.

Having this kind of conversations with yourself is often the first big necessary step to changing a career. Too many people don’t have it.  Invariably then they stay in jobs that make them unhappy, ill even and then wake up one day wishing they had made a change sooner.

NOW, is the time to have that conversation.  Don’t leave it.  Be brave.  Have it.  Do it and be a help and inspiration to others that change can truly happen.

———————————————

Next week we will be looking at that all important next step, which is a step of action that takes you out of your comfort zone.  No more hiding, it’s time to step out and make a real change.

I’d like to leave you with some resources in regards to the ‘cost’ of not having a job you love. I’ve included some links here to some UK Government Statistics on Workplace stress:

http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress/

http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress/stress.pdf

Not be to taken lightly. I hope you find this useful and interesting.

I’d also love to hear your comments on this issue.

Till next week…

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