Serena Simmons Consultant Psychologist

Change. Motivate. Adapt. Improve. Perform

Enough is enough…

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OK, cheesy song maybe but it is perfect as a ‘scene setter’ for today’s blog, and so I couldn’t resist it!

This idea of ‘enough is enough’ really became present to me on a deep level during a conversation I was having with my good friend Rosjke Hasseldine from Mother Daughter Coach.

We were having a general catch up which we have via Skype every month.  Rosjke lives in gorgeous New England and so we make time once a month to catch each other up on our lives, dreams and we do the most amazing job of genuinely cheerleading each others pursuits and endeavours.  It’s a great friendship, anyway I digress…

We were talking about the projects we were both currently working on, and as Rosjke was describing one of her products, I had to  suddenly stop her, and I said…’sorry, how much are you charging for that?’ To which she answered.  She told me her price and to be honest nearly fell off my chair!

This product was something that she had spent over a year of her life writing.  She had spent a life time learning this stuff.  Thousands of pounds on gaining experience and qualifications to help her gain a deeper understanding and theoretical knowledge.  She literally has spent thousands of hours of her time training, supervising, ‘theraping’ and helping people with this stuff.  She then spent her own money to have things copy written, printed and delivered and here she was charging no more than the cost of good outfit for it!

In that moment I became acutely aware of the fact that Rosjke’s actions mirrored something I have been doing for so long, which is feeling and acting, like I can never ‘give’ enough, even doing this to my own detriment.

I too have done the same, going out of my way on multiple occasions trying to make people happy.  I’m always looking out to fill other people’s happy tank, and you know what….if you go around trying to fill others people’s happy tanks, do you think they are gonna say no?  No!

I noticed, that my desire to do this, comes from really never feeling like I’ve done enough, when sometimes, enough is just that.  It is enough.

I wonder if you look at your own life and what you do to day, where do you figure in the grand scheme of things? Are you good at creating boundaries? Are you good at asking for what you want and knowing when you have given enough, just because it feels like you have.  And you trust that.

I’ve decided that I need to take on clearer practises in helping me realise when I have actually done this.  I also need to trust that if someone feels like they need more from me, then they can ask for it and it will then be my conscious decision if I want to give any more to that person than I already have.

I know I’m not the only person who recognises this kind of behaviour in themselves.  It’s a really easy thing to do when you are working in your job for example and you have learnt to do more, to show you care.  It’s also easy to do it in relationships to show people you love them.  It’s really easy to do this in your business, because we think it means we will generate and keep more customers.

To truth is, that I see people who keep giving more, and never feel like enough is enough and so usually end up feel depleted, tired, stressed, maybe taken for granted.

So, it’s time to stand strong and believe that you have given enough.  Enough is enough as the song goes.  I do hope you will try taking this on this idea and see what impact it has on your own life.

Till next week.

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2 thoughts on “Enough is enough…

  1. Blimey, you’ve hit the nail on the head there, haven’t you? I’m actively working on this, but yes, old habits die hard.
    Love a bit of Streisand, I do. X

    • Thank you. Yes, habits are so very hard to break! Overriding a lifetime of behaviour is certainly tricky. So important that us ‘givers’ get better at saying no though. Easier with a bit of Streisand as our motivational theme tune me thinks ; )

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