Serena Simmons Consultant Psychologist

Change. Motivate. Adapt. Improve. Perform

What do my friends do for me?

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Have you ever pondered this question? I don’t mean this in an expectant or entitled way, but more as a consideration of what you might enjoy about someones company in particular? Why are they in your life so to speak?


I’m sure we can all relate to having friends in different areas of our lives? For example I have friends I have had since childhood, they know me well and we’ve essentially grown up together. Then I have friends who I have made at University and into adulthood and have kept in touch with. I have ‘work’ friends, some of which spill over into people that I like to spend time with outside of work. I am also friends with my ex-partner (not everyone is, but I like my ex-partner even though I don’t to be with him). The list goes on….New Zealand friends, UK friends…etc. etc!

Over the last two weeks I’ve spent time with a variety of friends in various and quite intense ways and I’ve really enjoyed the fullness and richness of my friendship pot having been replenished! This is post conference, where I felt like, although I made time to see some people here and there, it wasn’t in a way that was consistent or indeed altogether ‘free of mind’.

This last week I’ve enjoyed spending time with some dear work friends at our work Graduation. We’ve been able to catch up on our year, talk about some of the fabulous students we’ve taught and generally giggle and have some fun together (as per my selfie and co below).


As I write this I am also at a week long training programme in Qualitative Research Methods in Bristol with more fab work friends enjoying each other’s company in learning and also, if truth be told, having some fun and pretty awesome conversations in the evenings.

Photo of my view from my student flat kitchen.

I then get back on Friday to my friend Corrina, who will be arriving to stay with me for the weekend! Yay! My friendship cup does runneth over.

Seen here on my last stay at Corrina’s

I think it’s been so good for me to have this time with my friends from all walks and corners of my life. Also I notice that as I’ve have aged, I have found it easier to make decisions and be clearer about who I spend my time with. When I was younger, I remember spending time with and remaining ‘friends’ with people who were difficult, sometimes mean or even down right nasty.

Over time I’ve learnt to filter these people out of my life. Not in ‘making them wrong’ for what they did or who they were. But more because I realised that we were simply not compatible as friends. We have seemingly been on very different journeys or leaning curves.

Friends to me, nurture your soul, not leave you feeling depleted.

I am looking forward to the rest of my week, to my weekend and also to more getting-together and connecting with my friends over summer…..roll on the good times!

Till next week!


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